Not to long after my last post, my husband told me that I was doing a great job, caring for our children, being a mom, hanging in there. In my head, I started my usual litany of denials to this complement, and it must have showed on my face, because he then asked me who would have to tell me this in order for me to believe it.
You see, I have this problem. I don't believe people when they compliment me. I don't believe that they are being honest, only that they are being nice. The reasons for this stem from my youth, and don't need to explored here, but suffice it to say that I rarely believe that I'm doing a good enough job, at anything.
I thought about what my husband said, and in that moment, I honestly didn't know who it would take to tell me that I was doing a good job in order for me to believe it. Then the moment passed, and I went on with my day, not really giving it any more thought.
That's when the universe started speaking to me. I got this comment from my friend texasgirl:
and then the next day, got another few comments from women in my mom's group, about what a great job I was doing. That was followed by a woman that I don't even know (from my exercise class) telling me that I was doing an amazing job and should be easier on myself. And finally, I got an e-mail from one friend and a note from another, all telling me the same thing: You're doing fine. Relax. You will have time to do whatever again, and you're doing a lot right now. Your babies are big and healthy and happy. Chill out.
At some point, I realized that the universe was using friends, acquaintances, and even strangers as conduits to talk to me, and tell me that I should accept myself, know that I'm doing a good job, that things are fundamentally O.K.When the universe speaks, who am I to ignore it? So right now, I'm feeling all right. I'm doing a pretty good job. Thanks for noticing.